Types of domestic abuse

It can be difficult to recognise, and acknowledge, that you are a victim of domestic abuse. 

If you have experienced any of the following, please reach out for support. Find out more on our help and support page.

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  • Physical abuse
    • Kicking, punching, pinching, slapping, dragging, scratching, choking, biting, pushing, stabbing burning, scalding, poisoning, strangling (including the use of non-fatal strangulation)
    • Using or threatening to use weapons
    • Acting violently towards your family members or pets
    • Causing you physical harm by denying access to medical aids or equipment
    • Harming you whilst performing ‘care’ duties (especially relevant for disabled victims) including force feeding, withdrawal of medicine or over-medication.
  • Creating isolation
    • Limiting outside involvement such as family, friends and work colleagues
    • Not allowing any activity outside the home that does not include her or him
    • Constant checking up on your whereabouts .
  • Verbal abuse
    • Verbally humiliating you (both in private or around others)
    • Yelling and shouting at you
    • Making fun of/laughing at you
    • Blaming you for their failures
    • Mocking your characteristics (for example, disability, gender, sexual orientation, physical appearance)
    • Mocking your “sexual performance” including in front of friends, work colleagues and on social media.
  • Using threats
    • Threatening to use violence against you, your family members or pets
    • Threatening to use weapons
    • Threatening to enlist family members/friends to attack you
    • Destroying your personal and treasured items
    • Threatening to remove your children and/or telling you that you will never see them again or telling you that they will take them abroad without your permission
    • Threatening to get you institutionalised/committed
    • Threatening to reveal or publish private information (including threatening to publicise your sexuality, if this is not widely known).
  • Emotional and psychological abuse
    • Withholding affection and giving you ‘the silent treatment’ as a means of hurting you 
    • Turning your children and friends against you
    • Stopping you from seeing friends or relatives
    • Repeatedly belittling and insulting you, including in front of others
    • Depriving you of sleep by keeping you awake/stopping you sleeping
    • Wilfully preventing you from seeing your children
    • Manipulating your anxieties or beliefs
    • Telling you that you are to blame for the abuse and injuries 
    • Persuading you to doubt your own sanity or mind (including “Gaslighting”)
    • Telling you that you are not a “real” mother/father
    • Denying the abuse committed against you ever happened or trying to minimise it
    • Telling you that your bruises, cuts and injuries are not serious
    • Falsely accusing you of having affairs and/or constantly looking at other people
    • Mocking your “sexual performance” including in front of others.
  • Using power and control
    • Telling you what to do and expecting you to obey
    • Telling you that you will never see your children again if you leave
    • Using force to maintain power and control
    • Not accepting responsibility for their abusive behaviour/s 
    • Continually and purposefully breaching family court orders
    • Forced marriage.
  • Economic/financial abuse
    • Totally controlling your/the family’s income
    • Not allowing you to spend any money unless they ‘permit’ you to do so
    • Making you account for every spend
    • Running up bills such as credit/store cards in your name
    • Purposely defaulting on payments
    • Setting up false companies, accounts or credit cards with your details
    • Deliberately forcing you to go back to the family courts as a means of costing you additional legal fees
    • Refusing to contribute to household income
    • Interfering with or preventing you from regularising your immigration status so you are economically dependent on the perpetrator
    • Preventing you from claiming welfare benefits, force someone to commit benefit fraud or misappropriating such benefits
    • Interfering with your education, training, or employment
    • Not allowing you access to mobile phone/car/utilities
    • Damaging your property
    • Denying you food or only allowing you to eat a particular type of food.
  • Sexual abuse
    • Sexual harassing and pressuring you to engage in sexual acts, including with other people
    • Using sexually degrading language
    • Rape
    • Forcing you to have sex (or commit a sexual act) against your will
    • Making unwanted sexual contact and demands
    • Forcing you to make or watch pornography
    • Deliberately hurting you during sex
    • Pressurising or tricking you into having unsafe sex
    • Telling you that they have used contraception when they have deliberately not.
  • Making false allegations
    • Telling the police, friends, families, your employer and others (or threatening to) that you are the one committing the domestic abuse when it is them that is abusing you
    • Making false allegations that you have committed a crime as a means of discouraging you from disclosing.
  • Stalking
    • Following you to and from work
    • Checking your email and phone calls
    • Regularly sending unwanted gifts
    • Making unwanted or malicious communication.
  • Social media
    • Stalking you online
    • Placing false and malicious information about you on your or others’ social media
    • ‘Trolling’ you
    • Monitoring or controlling your email and phone calls (including work email and calls)
    • Circulating private sexual photographs and films without your consent ("revenge porn")
    • Hacking into, monitoring or controlling email accounts, social media profiles and phone calls
    • Blocking you from using online accounts, responding as you, or creating false online accounts
    • Using spyware or GPS locators on items such as phones, computers, wearable technology, cars, motorbikes and pets
    • Hacking internet enabled devices such as PlayStations or iPads to gain access to accounts or trace information such as your location
    • Using personal devices such as smart watches or smart home devices (such as Amazon Alexa, Google Home Hubs) or hidden cameras to monitor, control or frighten you
    • Using social media to intimidate you.
  • Coercive or controlling behaviour
    • Isolating you from your friends and family
    • Depriving you of your basic needs
    • Monitoring your time
    • Monitoring your online communication tools or using spyware
    • Taking control over aspects of your everyday life, such as where you can go, who you can see, what to wear and when you can sleep
    • Depriving you access to support services, such as specialist  support or medical services
    • Repeatedly putting you down such as telling you that you are worthless
    • Enforcing rules and activity which humiliate, degrade or dehumanise you
    • Forcing you to take part in criminal activity
    • Neglecting or abusing children to encourage you to self-blame and prevent disclosure to authorities
    • Criminal damage (such as destruction of household goods)
    • Preventing you from having access to transport or from working
    • Controlling or monitoring your daily activities, including making you account for your time, dictating what you can wear, when you can eat and so on
    • Isolating you from family and friends, intercepting messages or phone calls or refusing to interpret
    • Intentionally undermining your role as a partner, spouse or parent
    • Preventing you from taking medication or over-medicating you, or preventing you from accessing health or social care (especially relevant for victims with disabilities or long-term health conditions)
    • Using substances to control you by making you dependent on them.

    More information

    For more details on coercive and controlling behaviour, please visit the Women's Aid website.

  • Honour-based abuse

    Honour-based abuse is any type of abuse committed against a person to protect or defend the perceived 'honour' of a family or community.

    More information

    Further details about honour-based abuse is available on the Crown Prosecution Service website.

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Page Last Updated: Thursday, 22 August 2024 at 09:41 AM